General Computer (and other) Laws

according to Turner


     
LAW    1. A list of one element is sorted in either ascending or descending order.
 
 Corollary    1.1 A list of one element is a heap.
 
 
LAW    2. The needs grow to fill the available resources to 150%, regardless of the amount of resources.
 
 Corollary    2.1 Expenses grow to fill the available income to 150%, regardless of the amount of income.
 
 
LAW    3. The more important the client or the more you wish to "show off" your program, the sooner the first bug will appear.
 
 Corollary    3.1 The more important the report, the sooner you will spot a misspelling or grammatical error after giving it to your boss.
 
 Corollary    3.2 A spell check will make certain every word is spelled correctly. It will not guarantee that each word is the correct word.
 
 
LAW    4. It is faster to throw away the first version of any program and rewrite it from scratch than it is to debug it.
 
 
LAW    5. People who buy expansion capacity in a computer never will. By the time they get around to it, the computer will be obsolete and it will be time to buy another.
 
 Corollary    5.1 Do not worry about making a big mistake in purchasing a computer. Within three years it will need to be replaced anyway.
 
 Corollary    5.2 The best time to buy a computer is when the next model is released. The new model will be expensive, but typically the price drops on the old model.
 
 
 
 Lemma    6.1 On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being your worse nightmare, working with computers is 6 to 7.
 
 Lemma    6.2 On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being your worse nightmare, working with people is 4 to 6.
 
LAW    6. On a scale of 1 to 10, working with people working with computers is 12.
 
 Corollary    6.1 On a scale of 1 to 10, working with people in charge of computers is 17.
 
 
LAW    7. Good news travels fast, even if it is false.
 
 Corollary    7.1 Bad news travels even faster, regardless of whether it is true or false.
 
 
LAW    8. No matter how large the parking lot is and independent of the traffic and whether you are arriving or leaving, someone will be getting into or out of a vehicle in the very next parking space.